WrestleMania 22 Logo

April 2, 2006 - Rosemont, Illinois
Allstate Arena

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Non-Televised 18-Man Battle Royal (INTER)
Viscera def. (See Below) (9:03)
Notes: They all came out in their Raw and SmackDown t-shirts. Simon Dean got on the mic at first but Snitsky kicked him in the face and we were underway. Snitsky kind of eliminated himself. He went for a kick and missed Viscera, and went over. Crowd was big into Animal, but also enjoyed Viscera's routine on MNM. Viscera celebrated by walking over and hitting on Lilian. I can't blame him.

Match #1 - WWE World Tag Team Championship (RAW)
Big Show
& Kane

def. Carlito &
"The Masterpiece" Chris Masters

via Pinfall (6:42)
Notes: Kane and Big Show were pretty over, especially Show. Kane took off and jumped off the top rope onto Masters and Carlito on the outside. Masters and Carlito were being tossed around until they forced Show's head into the corner, where Carlito had earlier removed a turnbuckle pad. But Kane was tagged in, and fought back. Kane was about to chokeslam Carlito when Masters came off the top rope; Kane moved Carlito and the cool one took the hit. Kane then pinned Carlito after a chokeslam. Carlito and Masters just couldn't put it together and argued after the match.

Match #2 - Six-Man "Money in the Bank" Ladder Match (INTER)
Rob Van Dam def. Bobby Lashley
Matt Hardy
Shelton Benjamin
"Nature Boy" Ric Flair
Notes: Great. So now RVD will be carrying around that briefcase for God knows how long. Bet he'll throw some reefer in there as well as the contract. Good match, though. Benjamin fashioned a ramp out of the ladder, resting it on the ropes. He then ran up it and did a senton onto three men on the outside. I thought Flair was dead after Hardy suplexed him off the ladder. Osteoperosis is a bitch, ain't it Ric? He was helped to the back. But he returned a bit later and nearly won the damn thing. Finlay nailed him with the shileleigh and Flair fell to the canvas again. Benjamin and Finlay were on the ladder when it was pushed over by Lashley. Lashley was then taken out when RVD came off the top rope and kicked a chair into Lashley. RVD did his schtick and splashed Finlay from the top of a tall ladder as well. And then the f'n ECW chants started. RVD was going for the case when Shelton flew in out of nowhere and landed on the ladder. JR said something about Shelton leapfrogging from the ropes to the ladder, but someone should be fired because the camera completely missed it. The camera was on RVD and the ladder, and Shelton flew in from off camera. Well, Shelton and Hardy ended up on another ladder next to the one RVD was on, he pushed it over and grabbed the case.

ON STAGE: The WWE Hall of Fame class of 2006 was introduced by Howard Finkel. Each was escorted by a Diva, except for Vickie Guerrero and Sensational Sherri. Sherri was accompanied by Ted DiBiase, who must be a little miffed that Sherri went in before he did. The inductees were "Mean" Gene Okerlund, the aforementioned Sherri, Tony Atlas, Verne Gagne, William "Refrigerator" Perry, Blackjack Lanza and Blackjack Mulligan, and finally the late Eddie Guerrero. Eddie's wife Vickie was there on his behalf, and she was escorted by Chavo Guerrero. Bret "Hitman" Hart was also inducted, but declined to appear at the show.

Match #3 - WWE United States Championship (SMDN)
John "Bradshaw" Layfield
w/Jillian Hall
def. Chris Benoit
via Pinfall (9:46)
Notes: -TITLE CHANGE- The entire entry ramp had to be raised so that JBL's limo could make his entrance. More bad camera work here, because they botched showing JBL doing the two-step on his way to the ring. Benoit pulled out all the stops here, hitting all of his high spots. But JBL was too much. While Benoit paid homage to Eddie, JBL did the opposite. JBL tried his version of the Three Amigos, but Benoit fought out of that. Benoit ended up getting the Crossface on, but JBL rolled it over into a pin and grabbed the ropes for good measure.

Match #4 - Hardcore Match (RAW)
def. Mick Foley via Pinfall (14:37)
Notes: Joey "Way Out Of" Styles joined commentary for this match. Boy does he suck. Foley started out strong, but Edge came back. It didn't take long for some "toys" to come into play. Edge speared Foley but Foley had barbed wire around his waist. Edge got tied up in the ropes and Foley brought out the barbed wire bat. Lita jumped in to save her meal ticket--I mean man. Foley also took a wicked hip toss into the steps. Edge brought out some thumbtacks and spread them around, but it was he who was dumped onto them. Foley was pouring lighter fluid onto a table from the apron when Lita nailed him in the crotch with the barbed wire bat. She lit the table on fire, and Edge speared Foley through the ropes and through the table. And Joey Styles either blew his load or crapped his pants when he squirted out his "Oh my God!" Maybe both. He probably needs one to do the other. Some people are into that.

Match #5 - Intergender Handicap Match (SMDN)
The Boogeyman def. Booker T
& Sharmell
via Pinfall (3:54)
Notes: Booker T made Sharmell start things off. It was a ploy, because Booker hit Boogey from behind, and then Sharmell ran over and tagged him in. Boogey ended up taking a mouthful of worms, and moved in on Booker. Sharmell grabbed Boogey's staff, and came up from behind and was just about to hit him when she got caught. Boogey ended up frenching her, worms and all. She took off, and Booker was finished off.

Match #6 - WWE Women's Championship (RAW)
Mickie James
def. Trish Stratus
via Pinfall (8:31)
Notes: -TITLE CHANGE- The biggest surprise of the night. Not the end, mind you, but the match itself. It was great. Crowd was flipping out for Mickie. She did some hilarious stuff. She was about to kick Trish when Trish grabbed her leg, and threw Mickie down into the splits. Yikes! Trish was on her heels the whole time, as if Mickie was destined to become champ. EDIT Alert: Right after Mickie counters the Stratusfaction by grabbing Trish's crotch, they edited out the few seconds where she looks right into the camera and sticks her tongue out between her fingers. I guess it's only ok if Mae Young does it. Whatever. Mickie used the Chick Kick, and finally Trish's reign is over.

Match #7 - Casket Match (SMDN)
The Undertaker def. Mark Henry (9:26)
Notes: I half expected Mark Henry to come out with a huge #14 stamped on his tights. Was there ever any doubt about this one? The match wasn't terrible, I suppose. And the crowd was still really into it. Both men got in their moves, and Undertaker even powerbombed Henry off the ropes. The best move of the match was when Undertaker launched himself over the top rope and over the casket to the outside, and onto Mark Henry. After that, he even Tombstoned Henry. I'd say this was actually pretty good, considering we all knew what the outcome would be and the men involved.

Match #8 - No Holds Barred, No Disqualification Match (RAW)
Shawn Michaels def. Vince McMahon via Pinfall (18:26)
Notes: Vince was pretty tanned and oiled up for this match. He had another large pic of himself on the cover of Muscle & Fitness magazine. That set Shawn off, and the match was underway. It was actually more of a brawl. The gay Spirit Squad had to come down, but Shawn fought them off. Even Shane came down to help out his pops. He had a pair of handcuffs, but Shawn ended up cuffing Shane to the ropes and whipping him good with a kendo stick. Vince ended up on a table in the ring, with Shawn poised at the top of a ladder, about to jump. Shawn hesitated, and then proceeded to set up an even taller ladder. He put Vince inside a trash can for good measure. And yes, he drove his elbow into Vince. He propped him up and then finished him off with Sweet Chin Music.

Match #9 - World Heavyweight Championship - Triple Threat Match (SMDN)
Rey Mysterio
def. Kurt Angle
Randy Orton
via Pinfall (9:18)
Notes: -TITLE CHANGE- P.O.D. started playing some shitty song, and all of a sudden Rey shoots out. But he went right backstage again. And get this--he came back out dressed like a freakin' parrot. Randy had a really good way to start the match. The ref was holding up the gold, and Randy grabbed it and smashed it into Kurt's face. It was before the bell, so it was brilliant. Too bad it wasn't Rey's face. But that just shows that Rey wasn't perceived as much of a threat. Kurt was awesome as usual, and somehow got the other two into a double German suplex. If you've seen any Rey Rey match, you know how he won. With the same two shitty moves. Congrats, Rey. You will forever be remembered as the guy that won the title because Eddie Guerrero died. Eddie will always be remembered, but you, Rey, are nothing more than a footnote in history. No go out there and lose the title to somebody. Anybody. At this point I'm not too particular.

Match #10 - Divas Pillowfight (RAW)
Torrie Wilson
def. Candice Michelle via Pinfall (3:55)
Notes: Yeah, whatever.

Match #11 - WWE World Heavyweight Championship (RAW)
John Cena
def. Triple H
via Submission (22:01)
Notes: Triple H rose from underneath the stage on a throne, and he was dressed up like come medieval king. After that, some stock footage of Depression-era Chicago was shown, and all of a sudden a classic car from that same era drives out with a bunch of donkeys dressed up like gangsters with Tommy Guns on the boards. Cena himself came out in a trench and shot off a few rounds from his Tommy. Totally lame. Those dudes were the worst. They were really over-selling it. Crowd was really hot for this match, the majority wanting Cena to lose. The match was back and forth, and the ending featured many reversals and near falls. Cena countered the Pedigree and slapped on the STFU. And Trips tapped out. So maybe now the Internet can shut up for a while about how this was all about Triple H, and he buries guys, and never puts anyone over. I did find it funny that as soon as Trips taps, instead of putting the camera on a cheering fan, they put it on a guy who is frozen in place with a stunned look on his face, arms in the air, as if to say, "What the F---?"

18-Man Battle Royal
ExitNameTimeEliminated By
1Simon Dean0:03Snitsky, Tomko
2Rob Conway0:51Richards
3Sho Funaki1:04Murdoch
4Lance Cade1:19Regal
5Stevie Richards1:51Goldust
6Matt Striker2:03Animal
7Super Crazy2:28Murdoch, Eugene
9William Regal2:59Snitsky
10Eugene3:21Mercury, Nitro
11Trevor Murdoch4:00Psicosis
13Joey Mercury
14Johnny Nitro
15Tyson Tomko7:58Snitsky
17Gene Snitsky9:03Viscera

Commentary:Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler (RAW), Michael Cole and Tazz (SMDN)
w/Jonathan Coachman, Josh Mathews, Todd Grisham
Spanish: Carlos Cabrera, Hugo Savinovich
Ring Announcer:Howard Finkel, Lilian Garcia, Tony Chimel
National Anthem:Michelle Williams (America the Beautiful)
Celebrities:Joe Theismann (athlete), P.O.D. ('band'), Motorhead (band)
Referees/Officials:Chad Patton, Jimmy Korderas, Nick Patrick, Mickie Henson, Charles Robinson, Jack Doan, Chris Kay, Mike Chioda, etc.

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