SummerSlam 2005 Logo

August 21, 2005 - Washington, D.C.
MCI Center

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Sunday Night Heat Match (RAW)
"The Masterpiece" Chris Masters def. The Hurricane
w/Rosey, Stacy Keibler
via Submission (1:59)
Notes: The Masterlock claims another victim.

Match #1 - WWE U.S. Championship (SMDN)
Chris Benoit
def. Orlando Jordan
via Submission (0:25)
Notes: -TITLE CHANGE- Yikes. OJ goes down quickly to the Crippler Crossface, and we have a new U.S. Champion. OJ is living on borrowed time, now. And as an aside, there is one kind of wrestling fan I dislike the most, and I mention it now because one can be seen right at the beginning when the event is kicking off and the camera cuts to Tazz and Michael Cole. And I'm speaking about the tool with the World Heavyweight Championship belt on his shoulder. If you want to buy these belts and put them up in your room, or some sort of display, that's fine and cool. But to actually walk around to a live event with it on your shoulder...what a freakin' tool. I always make fun of those guys, and deservedly so.

Match #2 (RAW)
def. Matt Hardy via Ref's Decision (4:48)
Notes: Lita was smokin' hot as usual. More of a brawl than a wrestling match, and the action started before the bell even rang. Matt ended up getting busted open on the ring post, and bled out. The ref decided to end the match, and no one in the arena liked that. And it was a lousy ending to a match at arguably the second biggest event of the year. And is it just me, or has WWE really botched and blown the return of Mattitude?

Match #3 - Ladder Match (SMDN)
Rey Mysterio def. Eddie Guerrero (20:18)
Notes: Rey Rey keeps custody of Dominick. Great match, but that is what I've come to expect from Eddie. And he could have gotten the win too, except for the space-case kid trying to shake the ladder (quite funny), and then Eddie's own wife knocking him off the ladder. Plenty of high spots here, despite the kind of lame storyline buildup.

Match #4 (RAW)
Kurt Angle def. Eugene
w/Christy Hemme
via Submission (4:34)
Notes: Why Christy would hang with a tard like Eugene is beyond me. The crowd was really behind Kurt and my Olympic hero dismantled Eugene. After he took care of business, Kurt demanded that the referee place the gold medal around his neck, just like at the Olympics. Way to go, Kurt!

Match #5 (SMDN)
Randy Orton def. The Undertaker via Pinfall (17:17)
Notes: Pretty decent effort on the part of these two. The match was slow and methodical, and an actual wrestling match. After several reversals of the Tombstone and a huge neckbreaker by Orton, Undertaker eventually chokeslammed Randy. It was then that a fan entered the ring and distracted the Dead Man. The fan was shoved out of the ring, but the commotion gave Randy an opening for the RKO, and he won the match. The fan joined Randy in the aisle and revealed himself as "Cowboy" Bob Orton.

Match #6 - WWE World Heavyweight Championship (RAW)
John Cena
def. Chris Jericho
via Pinfall (14:49)
Notes: I really like Coach's commentary. Why? Because he points out that the hotshot thug John Cena is from the "mean streets" of West Newberry, MA. He isn't afraid to tell it like it is. It was pretty cool to hear half the crowd cheer "Let's go Cena" and then the other half answer back with "Let's go Jericho". Were you listening, Cena? Half the arena booed your ass when you did your schtick. The place erupted when the Walls of Jericho were slapped on, and the boo-birds came out again when you made it to the ropes. The fans are fickle, Mr. Cena, and I think they are beginning to turn on you. Anyway, Y2J came off the ropes and Cena grabbed him and flipped him up into the FU launch position. That was it. The silence in the arena when Cena held up his title was deafening.

Match #7 - World Heavyweight Championship - No Holds Barred Match (SMDN)
Dave Batista
def. John "Bradshaw" Layfield
via Pinfall (9:06)
Notes: Well, Undertaker had to "kill off" Muhammad Hassan, so we get to see another JBL-Batista match here. I thought the Hassan character was interesting, but WWE had to go off the deep end and involve masked men with piano wire. Masked men that looked an awful lot like the terrorist a-holes killing innocents in a certain newly-freed Middle Eastern nation. Way to go guys. The backlash from that means the death of a good character. But I digress. JBL came to the ring with $100 "Bradshaws" falling from the ceiling again. Maybe they had a ton left from WrestleMania. Not much to say about the match. It wasn't that different than any of the other JBL-Batista encounters we've seen. The Batista-Bomb onto the steel steps was a nice way to end the match, though.

Match #8 (RAW)
Hulk Hogan def. Shawn Michaels via Pinfall (21:23)
Notes: Clearly the best match on the card. Hogan dominated early, using his power to beat down Shawn. Michaels used thumbs to the eyes on a few occasions, and gained the upper hand after some action outside of the ring. Hogan was bleeding pretty badly, but I've seen worse. HBK missed with an elbow from the top, and then there was some "hulking up", but Michaels gave Hogan a flying forearm when Hogan went for the "big boot." The ref went down, and then Shawn pulled out the Sharpshooter, but Hogan got out of that. The next ref went down, and Michaels was able to put Hogan down with a low blow and a steel chair. HBK connected with the flying elbow, and began to warm up the band. Sweet Chin Music connected, but Hogan kicked out and "hulked up" all the way this time. Big boot, leg drop, and it was all over but the shouting. Michaels became the latest addition to the long list of wrestlers laid low by the immortal leg drop. Hogan still has some gas left in the tank. On a side note, I love the way Michaels takes his big shots--flailing around and flopping over like a fish out of water...priceless. The two men shook hands after the bout.

Commentary:Jim Ross, Jerry "The King" Lawler, and Jonathan Coachman (RAW) / Michael Cole and Tazz (SMDN)
w/Todd Grisham
Spanish: Carlos Cabrera, Hugo Savinovich
Ring Announcer:Lilian Garcia, Tony Chimel
National Anthem:Lilian Garcia (awesome rendition)
Referees/Officials:Jimmy Korderas, Chad Patton, Charles Robinson, Mike Chioda, Brian Hebner, Jack Doan, Nick Patrick, Raw GM Eric Bischoff, etc.

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